For the Love of Lipstick

A deep dive into my long relationship with lipstick + my favorite brands and shades.

Someone very smart once said, “A mouth is not complete without the pastels of its armor,” and that very smart person was me, right now, in this essay. I have worn lipstick in every color and shade imaginable. It’s so much a part of my daily routine that I will forgo almost every other makeup product just for the solid pop of berry, bright red, or soft pink spread across my lips. My passion for lipstick started in my teen years growing up on the set of beloved daytime soap opera General Hospital, where heavy, thick makeup was a staple of the soap genre at the time.

Stuck in traffic and irritated but still looking fine in a bright, sadly discontinued YSL shade (Prete a Tout #103).

NARS makes some of the absolute best shades, and while I can't remember this particular color name, I can tell you that I once wore this lipstick to my gyno's office for a checkup and while she had two fingers in my vagina examining me, she said, “I just love that color, Amber! Who makes it?" Women really can have it all!

I definitely had fun as a blonde for a few years and wore softer shades of pinks and reds during that time.

For decades, soap actors donned a notorious style of makeup called “pancake makeup,” a thick-as-paint style foundation that you add a little water to and literally paint onto your face with a paintbrush. (Soaps were also one of the very first entertainment mediums to use airbrush machines to apply foundation, blush, and contour which would essentially be graffitied all over your face.) After the foundation came the eye makeup, and since nothing is ever subtle on a soap opera (nor should it be), you had to have a full smokey eye with eyeliner inside the rim of your lash line and extra mascara—as much as your lashes could hold—until you looked like a raccoon who had been in a bar fight. It always looked fantastic thanks to my makeup artist, Wendy Pennington Holz; the perfect made-up face for each dramatic moment.

Speaking of makeup artists, I love this shade my friend and makeup artist Joseph Carrillo put on my lips for a Listening in the Dark press day in 2022.

In a shade of red backstage at The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, getting ready to talk about my book, Era of Ignition. I'm standing between two longtime members of my glam team: makeup artist Nick Barose (left) and hair stylist Matthew Monzon (right).

Last but not least was my personal favorite part: the lipstick. I loved looking through Wendy’s lipstick collection, browsing through the hundreds of shades to see what would best fit the character and storyline that day. Should I wear a soft pink for a fun, lighthearted scene? Should it be glossy or matte? Or was my character feeling like something strong, bold: a deep plum color or vibrant red? By the time you were walking out of hair and makeup and heading for the set, you better be looking as glam as Dolly Parton or you weren’t worth your soap opera salt.

When you are going to see Sarah Paulson on Broadway, you better come correct in a strong shade like Main Frame #413 from Shiseido. Makeup by Michael Chua.

When the lipstick matches the drapes, err . . . the suit. Wearing Armani - Bright #301. Makeup by Nick Barose.

This was one of my favorite photoshoots (shot by Stephanie Diani) and this picture ended up being my author photo for Listening in the Dark. Makeup artist Nick Barose chose Armani Lip Power in Brave #506 to match the silver sparkle in my turtleneck.

That obsession with Wendy’s makeup collection would carry on to every movie and TV show I appeared in after I left General Hospital, loving that moment when the makeup artist on any given set would say, “Alright, now what do you think for your lips?” While shooting Joan of Arcadia, I worked with the most wonderful makeup artist named Lori Madrigal, who herself was a self-described die-hard lipstick fan. And while the title character of Joan didn’t wear nearly the amount of makeup I wore on a soap, Lori and I loved to plan and plot different ways to sneak in subtle changes to the lip color now and then. It was even Lori who taught me something I still use to this day, both professionally and as an outlandish party trick to shock and awe partygoers: I can put lip liner on perfectly without using a mirror. Yeah, you heard me. Please enjoy a video of me performing this skill while slightly tipsy at Amy Schumer’s birthday party last year. Captured on camera by the very funny actress and comedian, Rosebud Baker:

Whenever I leave my house, I always make sure three things are in my purse no matter what (besides my wallet and keys, of course): hand sanitizer, a pen, and two shades of lipstick. If I leave the house without a lipstick shade of some kind, I feel . . . unfinished. This is why I have lipstick strewn all over from the years I’ve been collecting it: in drawers in my writing desk, in pockets of dresses and pants, in the bathroom cabinet, and the glove compartment of my car. It’s something I can always count on to give me a little pep in my step or make me feel refreshed and ready to face the world when I haven’t been able to do much else for myself besides maybe brush my teeth.

This picture was more about how excited I was to show my friend the gray streak I had been growing in my hair, but as usual, it became about my lipstick too.

Just a casual stroll in my neighborhood, but the lipstick (NARS - Dragon Girl #132) really makes the whole look pop.

Lipstick is so much a part of my identity; it has even found its way into some of my creative work. I once hosted an off-site poetry reading and party at the Association of Writers & Writing Programs conference (AWP) with fellow lipstick enthusiasts Rachel McKibbens and Dorothea Lasky called “The Book of Kisses” that MAC Cosmetics sponsored. We asked poets to write original poems or read existing ones on themes of color, kissing, and all things related to mouths and lips. MAC Cosmetics gave us tons of lipsticks in various shades to give out to all attendees, and I bought a huge blank notebook and asked every attendee and author to put on a shade of lipstick of their choosing and kiss the book before they left the show. (I still have the book filled with all their colorful kisses.)

Lip prints of various audience members from our lipstick poetry event at AWP.

Holding The Book of Kisses alongside poet Dorothea Lasky.

Lipstick looks beautiful on any lip, in my opinion. I know sometimes people can feel deterred from wearing it because they don’t think they have the right shape or size lips to do a good lipstick justice. I can understand this feeling—I often avoid wearing short sleeves because I’m self-conscious about my arms—but I think anyone, with any kind of lip, can find a signature shade that works for them. Part of what makes wearing lipstick so personal, so essential to so many as part of their external armor they present to the world, is that there are enough colors, textures, and vibrancies of lipstick out there to fulfill any expression of any mood on any mouth.

I mean . . . where to begin? Sometimes when you mix a lot of bourbon and a lazy halloween costume idea you come up with very interesting things to do with your darkest shades of lipstick.

Red tips, big tits, rimmed lids, pale lips. (I'm a poet!)

It's giving hot librarian.

Some of the most famous movie stars and artists throughout history knew how to rock a good color with their individual lip shape, whether that was the glossy, dark, oxblood red worn on the thinner lips of iconic classic movie star Mae West, or the soft, pale nude pinks on the full, beautiful lips of Angelina Jolie. The artist Frida Kahlo was known for her infamous unibrow, but also the light, feminine mustache above her scarlet red lips, and the rock star Courtney Love made messy, red lipstick an iconic vibe. From David Bowie’s playful and androgynous Ziggy Stardust looks to the stage makeup of KISS—they just wouldn’t be complete without lipstick. 

Wearing a little pop of any kind of color on your lips can be a simple and easy way to share with the world how you’re feeling—a mood ring for your face, if you will—or give a hint into who you are or are wanting to be on any given day—bold, subtle, trying to fly under the radar, wanting to shake things up in the spotlight. Whether you love a gloss or a matte texture, a bright tangerine, dark plum, fluorescent pink, or a bold blue, there is always something out there that’s just right for you, and only you.

I loved this fuchsia-purplish-red, and wore it with this sparkly McQueen top for the Dark Sparkler book launch party at Housing Works in NYC.

I really hate bucket hats but I really love this deep wine color from NARS called Carmen.

Here are some of the shades I’ve worn over the years that I have truly loved and that I end up buying again and again. (None of these are ads, but they could be if any company wants to send me lipstick . . . just saying.)

• Chanel - Rouge Allure in Indépendante #176

• Chanel - Rouge Coco in Etienne #446 (The best berry color ever!)

• Clinique - Dramatically Different Lipstick Shaping Lip Colour in Raspberry Glace #44

• CoverGirl - Exhibitionist Cream Lipstick in

  • Bloodshot

  • Seduce Scarlet #310

• MAC - Retro Matte Lipstick in

  • Flat Out Fabulous

  • Ruby Woo

  • Relentlessly Red

• MAC - Powder Kiss Lipstick in Style Shocked!

• MAC - Lustreglass Sheer-Shine Lipstick in See Sheer

• Maybelline - Super Stay Ink Crayon Lipstick in Drive The Future

• NARS - Powermatte High-Intensity Lip Pencil in 

  • Dragon Girl #132

  • Kiss Me Deadly #183

  • Cruella #185

• NARS - Precision Lip Liner in Holy Red (Technically a liner, but too good not to include.)

• NARS - Powermatte Lipstick in Too Hot To Hold #133

• NARS - Original Lipstick in Transeurope Express

• Nasty Woman - Matte Lipstick in Let’s Fucking Go

• YSL - Rouge Volupté Shine Lipstick Balm in 

  • Rosewood Beat #161

  • Nude Lingerie #150

  • Burnt Zellige #122

Coming up!

• Good Riddance: Join us in the Chat for a weekly space to let go of something that’s been bugging you. Every Saturday, I’ll share something I’m letting go of and invite you to do the same. It can be big or small, serious or silly—an interaction that left you feeling not so great, a piece of clothing you’ve been hanging on to for too long, or your anger over a tragically canceled TV show that ended on a cliffhanger. For All Subscribers.

• Further Ado: The next installment of the video interview series will feature the actress and entrepreneur, Blake Lively. Upcoming guests include Dr. Ayana Elizabeth Johnson, Suleika Jaouad, and many more to be announced. For Paid Subscribers.  

• Readings + Prompts: A couple times a month, I'll share a new video made just for you reading something I've written over the years—a poem, an essay, an unpublished work (GULP)—as well as a unique prompt based on that work. Come get entertained and creatively energized. For Paid Subscribers. 

• Here, Take This, I Love You: Every month we will give away memorabilia and artifacts from the vaults of my office. A signed Joan of Arcadia script! Limited edition broadsides of poetry! Some gum Alexis Bledel once chewed! (I would never.) For Paid Subscribers.