Darklings,
We’ve arrived at my favorite part of the year, the end of it, when the winter solstice calls on us to go inward, quiet all the noise and stimulation, and reflect on the year we’ve just had. This is a most tender and enlightening time for me, when I look back and think about all my accomplishments, unfinished and even unrequited creative projects, and try to give myself and others grace to allow for a fresh start. I let it all go, into the longest, darkest night of the year, and slowly start to look toward the light of the new one and all that it will bring. I can’t think of a better person to talk to during this illuminating time in our lives than the one and only Priya Parker.
Priya is a self-proclaimed lifelong curious student who has helped people all over the world, in the public and private sectors, rethink and even fully reimagine the ways we come together as friends, colleagues, partners, and problem-solvers. Priya’s work often involves coming into existing spaces and working directly with employees, board members, or activists for a number of different reasons depending on what a group might be seeking: how to facilitate and work through messy, broken communication in the workplace; how political activist organizations can better serve their movements; or how to improve race relations on college campuses. Priya is a conflict resolution facilitator, strategic advisor to some of the most powerful companies and individuals in the world, and the author of the groundbreaking book that reflects the breadth of her life’s work on the subject, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters.
A little over a year ago I sat down on my couch with Priya, a neighbor and friend, and she helped me brainstorm some of what I wanted this Substack community to be and how I wanted it to function, both in my life and the lives of our subscribers. I’m grateful for her thoughtfulness, curiosity, and knowledge about gathering and community, all of which led me to create this thriving space we’ve built together in the last twelve months. (Can you believe it? One year in January!)
In honor of our first anniversary here at Listening in the Dark, I sat down with Priya again—this time for our video interview series, Further Ado—to discuss what it means to come together with purpose. We explored the benefits of intrapersonal gathering, whether we are gathering our own thoughts, feelings, or the courage to speak. We touched on how to push through fear when getting ready to have a hard conversation, how to utilize your community’s support to hold yourself accountable, and why gathering on a dance floor to bust as many moves as our legs will allow might just be what matters most.
What are some of the experiences, memories, and moments you are reflecting on as the year comes to a close? I’d love to hear any and every takeaway from this wild, wild year.
Love,
Amber
More from today’s conversation:
The Art of Gathering newsletter
The New Rules of Gathering - free guide
Here Lies Love
Fairview
Nicole Apelian
A League of Their Own
Randa Slim
They Called Us Exceptional by Prachi Gupta
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Exit West by Mohsin Hamid
Jhumpa Lahiri
The Immortal King Rao by Vauhini Vara
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
One Line a Day: A Five-Year Memory Book
The Bear
Curb Your Enthusiasm
Barbie
Coming up!
Good Riddance: Join us in the Chat for a weekly space to let go of something that’s been bugging you. Every Saturday, I’ll share something I’m letting go of and invite you to do the same. It can be big or small, serious or silly—an interaction that left you feeling not so great, a piece of clothing you’ve been hanging on to for too long, or your anger over a tragically canceled TV show that ended on a cliffhanger. For All Subscribers.
Further Ado: Our January installment of the video interview series will feature actress and entrepreneur, Blake Lively. Other guests coming up in 2024 include Dr. Ayana Elizabeth Johnson, Suleika Jaouad, and my mom, Bonnie Tamblyn. Many more to be announced. For Paid Subscribers.
Readings + Prompts: A couple times a month, I'll share a new video made just for you reading something I've written over the years—a poem, an essay, an unpublished work (GULP)—as well as a unique prompt based on that work. Come get entertained and creatively energized. For Paid Subscribers.
Here, Take This, I Love You: Every month we will give away memorabilia and artifacts from the vaults of my office. A signed Joan of Arcadia script! Limited edition broadsides of poetry! Some gum Alexis Bledel once chewed! (I would never.) For Paid Subscribers.
