Thank you for sharing so much of your heart and experience with us. I treasure the community you give to us.
Brittany was a dear dear friend of mine from the time she was 13 and hearing your audition story brought a flood of memories back. The joy with which Britti lived her life to the fullest and the fierce love she held for family and friends was a reminder I needed today.
So this week I am letting go of my negative leanings and stepping into the joy and love and light in which Britti lived.
This is incredibly moving and so sad. I watched you all onscreen—Michelle was just a few years younger than I am—and your heartache and malnostalgia are so clear in this piece. Thank you, Amber.
I am, after and above all, a child of energy- I feel you are, too - and I RECEIVE your grief. 🥰
Me, I think I’ll let go of such anger about this…truly, why the hell can’t the world (or set) let young women (or young actresses) just sparkle and go on sparkling??! Your book gives them so much beauty, above that which they already have…but I so wish there were no Dark Sparklers.
I recall reading Jennifer McCurdy’s book last year and her ability to cry on cue. It seems fitting when I think of child actors. I am glad you are healthy, sane. Congratulations to you and your parents. I am glad you are able to hail your ghosts and wish them well along their path. I am letting go of FOMO. I have downloaded an app for the Daily Crossword/Games so I can turn my back to outside world on weekends. My husband has just recovered from a life-threatening illness and came a hair breadth from losing him. I am structuring time to soak, wallow and revel in overwhelming gratitude; enjoying relaxing weekends watching trash TV with my love. Alternating between holding his hand and the remote isn’t at all exciting for a lifetime jouster. I am letting go of my need for constant action, but that’s for another time. Xxoo
Such a sad goodbye. My daughter is a theater major right now and I think so much about the way young actors are viewed and treated, how it's so easy to see yourself in competition with your peers (because of course you are) but also how some individuals manage with such grace to draw a line between the audition and the relationship, and offer support to each other. You and so many of the peers you describe here have done so much to retain your humanity in a dehumanizing industry. It's inspiring.
I hurt my back last weekend and have been laid up all week. I've been doing all the right things, with ice, and heat, and movement, and rest, and supplements and ibuprofen, stretching. And yet it has been almost a week and I'm still not back where I want to be. Today I'm trying to let go of the frustration and grief over this injury and recommit to the work of recovery. On the plus side, all this "rest" means I read a 500 page book in three days, and it was really good! I'm going to try to focus on all the things I can enjoy about this phase of healing.
My heart goes out to you and all other performers caught in a fragile web of a wild world.
My good riddence is simple: i have been recovering from a foot bone injury since November which has hampered my larger outdoor life.
Yesterday, I was able to get roughly 18,000 steps or 7 and a half miles around the city without wincing pain.
Because of this, I chose to sign back up for volunteerships with NewYorkCares.org for the next month or so. Volunteering makes my heart feel good whenever I want to complain about life’s rottenness.
This week i'm saying goodbye to my A1 level in German (Today, my German teacher tested us whether we can pass A1 level, and i think i did pass because i had few mistakes). I'm also getting ready to say goodbye to my winter clothes because at the end of March, i'm gonna celebrate the Persian New Year.
You're welcome, Amber. Btw, about actors who die too soon, i wanted to say i feel sad too about them, but there's a saying about such people: "Stars who shine the brightest, perish/fade (sic) the fastest".
Thank you for producing and sharing this publication, which I often find a balm and resource. The ability to "let go" (which is a large umbrella) and grieve (in a healthy manner) are powerful tools and skills - Ones I've, to date, been unable to become proficient with. This is a challenging situation, as the more one experiences, the greater the burden. You've touched upon this topic many times. It's something that impacts us all. When you've done so, it's often been with a clarity and grace that may lighten the load for those reading your work. Again, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Vesparado— I agree, the idea behind letting go is under a big umbrella and can mean many different things for many people. Sometimes I like to think of this space as a place to work TOWARDS a let go; something you’re not quite ready to in full, but little by little (comment by comment), you get there.
It can also be something small that irritated you during the week: a broken shopping cart at a grocery store or some such silly thing 😉
It’s for every and anything you need it to be. Hope this helps if you ever want to share in the comments! 🙏🏻♥️
Harriet the Spy was one of my favorite books, and I loved the movie. Michelle Trachtenberg was always "Harriet" to me, and I always appreciated how the movie wasn't afraid to show the dark side of being a child and what it's like when you feel the whole world is against with you, with no way out. And it made me want to try egg cream, until my mom explained to me since I don't like soda, I wouldn't like them.
I remember seeing the ads for "Eurotrip" and feeling a little gross, because it felt so exploitative of her.
I met Brittany Murphy once outside a talk show and I just remember her being so nice. Like scary nice. She took a photo with everyone who asked, gave everyone a hug, signed every autograph with a heart . I remember she was about to leave and someone said they didn't get a picture and she sprinted over and apologized. She seemed so genuine and so happy to meet people.
I hope they both found whatever peace eluded them in life.
As for my good riddance-
A very hearty good riddance and an FU to my old job. I applied for a position there recently that I knew I'd be great at, despite knowing how toxic that place can be. (It PAYS and trips to Taiwan aren't cheap). They scheduled me for an interview and I waited by the phone...nothing.
I emailed the recruiter twice...nothing. I've never heard of ghosting someone like that. I'm so tempted to email the CEO and be like yo....because it's just so rude and disrespectful.
So heartbreaking. 💔 ….so well written Amber. Everyone admires childhood actors but there is a dark side to it that you are brave to talk about. You lived it. Love you …Love your courage in life.
Thank you for sharing so much of your heart and experience with us. I treasure the community you give to us.
Brittany was a dear dear friend of mine from the time she was 13 and hearing your audition story brought a flood of memories back. The joy with which Britti lived her life to the fullest and the fierce love she held for family and friends was a reminder I needed today.
So this week I am letting go of my negative leanings and stepping into the joy and love and light in which Britti lived.
Once again,
Bowing in gratitude for this space 🙏🏻
WOAH. Thank you for sharing this Alison. How powerful.
This is incredibly moving and so sad. I watched you all onscreen—Michelle was just a few years younger than I am—and your heartache and malnostalgia are so clear in this piece. Thank you, Amber.
I am, after and above all, a child of energy- I feel you are, too - and I RECEIVE your grief. 🥰
Me, I think I’ll let go of such anger about this…truly, why the hell can’t the world (or set) let young women (or young actresses) just sparkle and go on sparkling??! Your book gives them so much beauty, above that which they already have…but I so wish there were no Dark Sparklers.
LOVE to you and the LITD fam.🩷
I recall reading Jennifer McCurdy’s book last year and her ability to cry on cue. It seems fitting when I think of child actors. I am glad you are healthy, sane. Congratulations to you and your parents. I am glad you are able to hail your ghosts and wish them well along their path. I am letting go of FOMO. I have downloaded an app for the Daily Crossword/Games so I can turn my back to outside world on weekends. My husband has just recovered from a life-threatening illness and came a hair breadth from losing him. I am structuring time to soak, wallow and revel in overwhelming gratitude; enjoying relaxing weekends watching trash TV with my love. Alternating between holding his hand and the remote isn’t at all exciting for a lifetime jouster. I am letting go of my need for constant action, but that’s for another time. Xxoo
Thank you for sharing Vicki I hope he recovers well!
Such a sad goodbye. My daughter is a theater major right now and I think so much about the way young actors are viewed and treated, how it's so easy to see yourself in competition with your peers (because of course you are) but also how some individuals manage with such grace to draw a line between the audition and the relationship, and offer support to each other. You and so many of the peers you describe here have done so much to retain your humanity in a dehumanizing industry. It's inspiring.
I hurt my back last weekend and have been laid up all week. I've been doing all the right things, with ice, and heat, and movement, and rest, and supplements and ibuprofen, stretching. And yet it has been almost a week and I'm still not back where I want to be. Today I'm trying to let go of the frustration and grief over this injury and recommit to the work of recovery. On the plus side, all this "rest" means I read a 500 page book in three days, and it was really good! I'm going to try to focus on all the things I can enjoy about this phase of healing.
I hope you feel better soon Tara! Sounds like you’re doing all the right things for your body 🩷
Thank you so much for sharing this. Michelle, and Brittany before her, really were beautiful young talents taken from this world too soon.
My heart goes out to you and all other performers caught in a fragile web of a wild world.
My good riddence is simple: i have been recovering from a foot bone injury since November which has hampered my larger outdoor life.
Yesterday, I was able to get roughly 18,000 steps or 7 and a half miles around the city without wincing pain.
Because of this, I chose to sign back up for volunteerships with NewYorkCares.org for the next month or so. Volunteering makes my heart feel good whenever I want to complain about life’s rottenness.
RIP Michelle. Thanks for this.
This week i'm saying goodbye to my A1 level in German (Today, my German teacher tested us whether we can pass A1 level, and i think i did pass because i had few mistakes). I'm also getting ready to say goodbye to my winter clothes because at the end of March, i'm gonna celebrate the Persian New Year.
Love this congratulations!
You're welcome, Amber. Btw, about actors who die too soon, i wanted to say i feel sad too about them, but there's a saying about such people: "Stars who shine the brightest, perish/fade (sic) the fastest".
Thank you for producing and sharing this publication, which I often find a balm and resource. The ability to "let go" (which is a large umbrella) and grieve (in a healthy manner) are powerful tools and skills - Ones I've, to date, been unable to become proficient with. This is a challenging situation, as the more one experiences, the greater the burden. You've touched upon this topic many times. It's something that impacts us all. When you've done so, it's often been with a clarity and grace that may lighten the load for those reading your work. Again, thank you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Vesparado— I agree, the idea behind letting go is under a big umbrella and can mean many different things for many people. Sometimes I like to think of this space as a place to work TOWARDS a let go; something you’re not quite ready to in full, but little by little (comment by comment), you get there.
It can also be something small that irritated you during the week: a broken shopping cart at a grocery store or some such silly thing 😉
It’s for every and anything you need it to be. Hope this helps if you ever want to share in the comments! 🙏🏻♥️
Harriet the Spy was one of my favorite books, and I loved the movie. Michelle Trachtenberg was always "Harriet" to me, and I always appreciated how the movie wasn't afraid to show the dark side of being a child and what it's like when you feel the whole world is against with you, with no way out. And it made me want to try egg cream, until my mom explained to me since I don't like soda, I wouldn't like them.
I remember seeing the ads for "Eurotrip" and feeling a little gross, because it felt so exploitative of her.
I met Brittany Murphy once outside a talk show and I just remember her being so nice. Like scary nice. She took a photo with everyone who asked, gave everyone a hug, signed every autograph with a heart . I remember she was about to leave and someone said they didn't get a picture and she sprinted over and apologized. She seemed so genuine and so happy to meet people.
I hope they both found whatever peace eluded them in life.
As for my good riddance-
A very hearty good riddance and an FU to my old job. I applied for a position there recently that I knew I'd be great at, despite knowing how toxic that place can be. (It PAYS and trips to Taiwan aren't cheap). They scheduled me for an interview and I waited by the phone...nothing.
I emailed the recruiter twice...nothing. I've never heard of ghosting someone like that. I'm so tempted to email the CEO and be like yo....because it's just so rude and disrespectful.
Good let go Sam! They didn’t deserve you!
So heartbreaking. 💔 ….so well written Amber. Everyone admires childhood actors but there is a dark side to it that you are brave to talk about. You lived it. Love you …Love your courage in life.
🩷🩷