Lovely analogy. What you have described is what I understand as radical acceptance: the need to acknowledge the present reality (whatever it is), grieve it, and proceed on in whatever way we *can* control. As a culture I think we in the U.S. (and particularly those of us who are racially, economically, and/or socially privileged) have not been accustomed to doing this: presented with unbearably hard things, we have so many ways of numbing ourselves (from alcohol to streaming video to toxic positivity and everything in between), with so much material and social abundance to cushion ourselves that can afford to keep fortifying our denial and avoidance. Our days of kicking the can down the road seem to be over, though a lot of us still apparently don’t realize it.
First of all, I have to thank you for putting into words everything that my brain and heart have been screaming at me since November. As a person who has grabbed for control as far back as my memories start, this gentle reminder to release is met with such gratitude.
So today I release my relentless efforts to grab onto control and I step into the present and any current actions I can take to support.
So grateful for this space and sending out love and release to all of you.
Absolutely perfect article, in my opinion. Thank you so much for the insight & the vivid imagery. I live in my imagination a lot & that's not good in our current situation. The remedy for me, when I have something terrible in my head, is to replace it. Growing up in Chicago, I have visceral identification with ice driving. Thank you for putting this together! Brilliant!
I really love how David’s calm carried you through that scary moment. One of my mantras in those scary times is “I’m okay.” You name it, you tame it. You feel it, you heal it. Soften, soothe, allow.
I’m letting go of any sense of knowing or certainty or control. Facing the last round of embryo transfers with a surrogate after fifteen years of IVF and no baby to show for it. The first IVF transfer I did in 2010, facing the bad news of it not working felt like facing a firing squad. Trying to let go of all my prosperity gospel conditioning. Come what may. I’m okay. No what if’s. Walking this earth without bargaining for that which doesn’t belong to me.
I moved from Southern California to Illinois at 18. I had no idea wtf a polar vortex was or how one drove in a blizzard... or even why anyone would need to. Decades later, I was a therapy lifer... the kind that shows up on time every week with a therapist and knows the names of the receptionist's grandkids. One morning, a storm was in the middle of dumping 2 feet of snow while I was having a bad mental health moment. No effing way was I missing an hour of losing my shit in front of a human paid to listen. When the car went into one slide after another, I must've channeled someone who gave me David's advice. I let go. I car-skied to therapy. You nailed that metaphor. I felt every single word of it in me bones. So good and spot tf on to our current external hellscape.
March has always been a very important month for me because we Persians celebrate our New Year at the end of this month. It's also when i reflect on the year that passed. During this week and the coming ones, i wanna start to slide into new paths that will help me achieve my goals and let go of more of my fears once and for all.
I found a great quote by Eckhart Tolle: "Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding the pain-body with your thoughts and remain trapped in your ego. There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet: human unconsciousness. That realization is true forgiveness. With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges – the power of Presence. Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light." I'm letting go of some relationships. This extreme government is helpful to clarify what I want in my life. Some family members I will love from afar.
As someone who wears shorts all year round and doesn't own a winter jacket, Amy Poehler would probably have a stroke if she saw me. I watched Spring Breakdown for the first time last year and enjoyed it- such a stacked cast.
I've lived in New York my whole life and as a kid, I loved the snow growing up. Sledding is fun! The chance of a snow day is a rush of excitement and adrenaline that is unmatched, especially when your school was as stingy as mine. And it just looked pretty.
But as an adult, the snow sucks. Shoveling it, cleaning off the car, those moments where you misread the forecast and get caught in it? Ughh the worst. I had a car that would skid and slide if you even thought about breaking and every fancy car in front of me would brake to their hearts content, what was I supposed to do?
This is such an excellent metaphor for what we are collectively witnessing and experiencing right now. Thank you, Amber! This essay made me feel more at peace with steering into the slide, and more hopeful that the wheels will eventually find the earth again.
I’ve been embracing powerlessness in several areas of my life. It’s strange how it gives back a sense of control-because instead of trying to control externally, I’m controlling my own reactions. Powerlessness is empowering? I’ve had to go with the slide driving many times, but not resisting in life is new. Great post, especially for right now.
I loved the analogy and the writing that went with it. Beautiful. I always put on studded snow tires, but I couldn't fit that into the analogy! I don't want it to be 'prepare for the worst' - not a good way to be thinking…I like the slipping and sliding…and coming back to the road in the end…
Lovely analogy. What you have described is what I understand as radical acceptance: the need to acknowledge the present reality (whatever it is), grieve it, and proceed on in whatever way we *can* control. As a culture I think we in the U.S. (and particularly those of us who are racially, economically, and/or socially privileged) have not been accustomed to doing this: presented with unbearably hard things, we have so many ways of numbing ourselves (from alcohol to streaming video to toxic positivity and everything in between), with so much material and social abundance to cushion ourselves that can afford to keep fortifying our denial and avoidance. Our days of kicking the can down the road seem to be over, though a lot of us still apparently don’t realize it.
Love this 🩷🩷
First of all, I have to thank you for putting into words everything that my brain and heart have been screaming at me since November. As a person who has grabbed for control as far back as my memories start, this gentle reminder to release is met with such gratitude.
So today I release my relentless efforts to grab onto control and I step into the present and any current actions I can take to support.
So grateful for this space and sending out love and release to all of you.
Bowing in gratitude 🙏🏻❤️
Much love to you Alison.
Absolutely perfect article, in my opinion. Thank you so much for the insight & the vivid imagery. I live in my imagination a lot & that's not good in our current situation. The remedy for me, when I have something terrible in my head, is to replace it. Growing up in Chicago, I have visceral identification with ice driving. Thank you for putting this together! Brilliant!
Thank you Jeanne 🧡
I really love how David’s calm carried you through that scary moment. One of my mantras in those scary times is “I’m okay.” You name it, you tame it. You feel it, you heal it. Soften, soothe, allow.
I’m letting go of any sense of knowing or certainty or control. Facing the last round of embryo transfers with a surrogate after fifteen years of IVF and no baby to show for it. The first IVF transfer I did in 2010, facing the bad news of it not working felt like facing a firing squad. Trying to let go of all my prosperity gospel conditioning. Come what may. I’m okay. No what if’s. Walking this earth without bargaining for that which doesn’t belong to me.
Soften
Soothe
Allow
🙏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
'Write the poem' --JAH
so needed this today - thank you
🫶🏻🫶🏻
I moved from Southern California to Illinois at 18. I had no idea wtf a polar vortex was or how one drove in a blizzard... or even why anyone would need to. Decades later, I was a therapy lifer... the kind that shows up on time every week with a therapist and knows the names of the receptionist's grandkids. One morning, a storm was in the middle of dumping 2 feet of snow while I was having a bad mental health moment. No effing way was I missing an hour of losing my shit in front of a human paid to listen. When the car went into one slide after another, I must've channeled someone who gave me David's advice. I let go. I car-skied to therapy. You nailed that metaphor. I felt every single word of it in me bones. So good and spot tf on to our current external hellscape.
Thank eMMe. Here’s to being a therapy lifer 😭🙏🏻🙏🏻
🩷🩷🩷
March has always been a very important month for me because we Persians celebrate our New Year at the end of this month. It's also when i reflect on the year that passed. During this week and the coming ones, i wanna start to slide into new paths that will help me achieve my goals and let go of more of my fears once and for all.
Love this so much. Thank you for sharing!
You're welcome.
I found a great quote by Eckhart Tolle: "Even if blame seems more than justified, as long as you blame others, you keep feeding the pain-body with your thoughts and remain trapped in your ego. There is only one perpetrator of evil on the planet: human unconsciousness. That realization is true forgiveness. With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges – the power of Presence. Instead of blaming the darkness, you bring in the light." I'm letting go of some relationships. This extreme government is helpful to clarify what I want in my life. Some family members I will love from afar.
Ooooohh fantastic quote Sherry!
I'm glad you're okay, Amber!
As someone who wears shorts all year round and doesn't own a winter jacket, Amy Poehler would probably have a stroke if she saw me. I watched Spring Breakdown for the first time last year and enjoyed it- such a stacked cast.
I've lived in New York my whole life and as a kid, I loved the snow growing up. Sledding is fun! The chance of a snow day is a rush of excitement and adrenaline that is unmatched, especially when your school was as stingy as mine. And it just looked pretty.
But as an adult, the snow sucks. Shoveling it, cleaning off the car, those moments where you misread the forecast and get caught in it? Ughh the worst. I had a car that would skid and slide if you even thought about breaking and every fancy car in front of me would brake to their hearts content, what was I supposed to do?
Completely agree Sam!
Much needed metaphor! ❤️❄️
I totally resonate with this piece. It’s amazing how events that happen, like your slide, provide such insight in synchronous ways.
🩷
This is such an excellent metaphor for what we are collectively witnessing and experiencing right now. Thank you, Amber! This essay made me feel more at peace with steering into the slide, and more hopeful that the wheels will eventually find the earth again.
🙏🏻🙏🏻💙
Beautiful reflection. Thank you 🙏❤️
I’ve been embracing powerlessness in several areas of my life. It’s strange how it gives back a sense of control-because instead of trying to control externally, I’m controlling my own reactions. Powerlessness is empowering? I’ve had to go with the slide driving many times, but not resisting in life is new. Great post, especially for right now.
I loved the analogy and the writing that went with it. Beautiful. I always put on studded snow tires, but I couldn't fit that into the analogy! I don't want it to be 'prepare for the worst' - not a good way to be thinking…I like the slipping and sliding…and coming back to the road in the end…