Your poem. 😭 🩷 It brought up a lot of inner child stuff for me. I was bullied from 2nd through 10th grade. I've done a fair amount of inner child and anxiety work in therapy and have made significant progress in coming to terms with the impact of all of that.
I saw an IG post a few days ago from a mom saying she was terrified when she found out she was having a daughter. I know that feeling too well. It was borderline gender disappointment for me and I fought tears on the way home from our 20 week ultrasound. I didn't want my daughter to be anything like me. When she turned 1, my mom looked at me and said "she is nothing like you" and I still remember the feeling of relief. She turns 10 soon. She is smarter, more social and much stronger than I was at her age. We talk about everything and anything, in age appropriate ways. I'm so proud of her.
I think I need to spend time writing my inner child another letter today. An apology of sorts. That will be my let go today.
This piece of writing is amazing. And your poem. I have tears running down my face that don’t want to stop. Your four year old self, touched my four year old self. In my own life (I’m 73), about 6 months or so ago, I rediscovered the gold signet ring I wore as a young child. It no longer fit my ring finger, of course, but it fit so perfectly on my left pinky, I knew it needed to stay there. So I’ve worn it every day since. It’s become a part of me, and with it I am being reminded? or it often feels like permeated, with my child self. I did not have your experience of being a child actress, but after I had my boys, I became an activist, was at the very beginning of what I called Gaian (Earth-based) Economics, bioregional, and also the efforts to stop clearcutting of old grown in CA and the PNW. I traveled, I keynoted, I wrote and organized and I lost my child self to fit what I believed I needed to fit to play that role. I’m currently writing, in bits and pieces, some of it in my substack, a “memoir”, and I needed, need, to remember who I came in as and bring her back, reintroduce my old woman self to her. Your poem just struck such a cord in my heart. I found a picture of myself, around the same age as you, crawling out from under a fallen branch in the woods, a big smile on my face, a little boy, who I can’t remember, coming out next. When I saw that, I recognized myself. As you did on your metal horse. ❤️
I love everything about this article, Amber! I now love letting go. Attachments were stifling me in life. I am releasing the need to explain and justify myself and my actions. Those were trauma responses that kept me stuck and not feeling good. Good Riddance indeed!
Oh OOOF…I need to just react for a moment. You know me, tears definitely ACTIVATED!
I can’t remember the exact year, but once upon a time, I was in Seville with my mom, and we took a carriage ride. I wasn’t a kid, but not yet fully grown into my more activist stance of feeling for the poor steed bound into servitude. HOWEVER…after we returned and climbed down, something moved me to go to that magnificent animal and thank them, just quietly, in their ear, with a soothing pet. Well, to my glee and surprise, the steed craned their neck kind of around me…what learned later was a hug.🤗 And now, reading your dear words, Amber, I realize that hug might just have been a deep acknowledgment of us BOTH being tamed, of us ALL being tamed, each in our own way. Our sparkle diminished. ✨
Beyond your letting go, I do wish you a reunion with your inner Mustang and your feral petals retuned. I wish it for us all.
I recently read Jaleel White's memoir, Growing Up Urkel, and it's terrible- he comes off like a real jerk and Family Matters gets canceled halfway through the book, which is all I cared about.
But there's a sense of melancholy throughout the second half of the book of a guy who knows he's going to be Urkel for the rest of his life but doing everything he can to fight against it, even though it's a battle he's not going to win and it comes at a great cost to him.
He probably could've met with Ada because yikes the book is so bad, but it must be such an odd feeling to peak at such a young age and have everyone view you as a fictional character.
Ooooh I love 💕 these stories of transcendence and good riddance at Beyoncé’s show with Roxane & Debbie- no less! Take us to Church Amber- preaching the Gospel of Salvation.
I found this quote from @manyarajlakshmi Manya’s Journal..
“Anything you lose by speaking your truth isn't a loss.
It's an alignment.”
My truth today is that we’re not defined by those childhood wounds. Letting that shit go.
Don’t know if you saw Mel Robbins talk with Gabor Mate- wow- chills- so good. So Mel’s primary childhood wound was being sexually assaulted at nine years old at a party/ sleepover. Also half of E Jean Carroll’s book What Do We Need Men For? seemed to be about inane ubiquitous sexual assaults everywhere in her and our collective childhoods- so Gabor breaks it down for Mel- that the trauma wasn’t just the physical act of being SA’d, it was the part that at 9 years old Mel couldn’t tell her mother or father what’d happened to her- because she didn’t have safety and trust with her parents and when Mel’s daughters were 9 and if something like that happened to them- would they have been able to tell Mel? Mel had learned very early like all of us did- adults weren’t safe people. They didn’t protect children. But now we’re the adults and we get to do things differently. I’m so glad Marlow has you and David and that you’ve cultivated a world in which she can come to you and you’re healing your childhood wounds by her having a safe family home.
Love you so much Amber. And can’t wait for Ada’s Short & Sweet. A reclamation of June 14th- not a parade for an evil tyrant but a celebration of smart wordy women with tongues as sharp as blades to slash the patriarchy!
Your poem. 😭 🩷 It brought up a lot of inner child stuff for me. I was bullied from 2nd through 10th grade. I've done a fair amount of inner child and anxiety work in therapy and have made significant progress in coming to terms with the impact of all of that.
I saw an IG post a few days ago from a mom saying she was terrified when she found out she was having a daughter. I know that feeling too well. It was borderline gender disappointment for me and I fought tears on the way home from our 20 week ultrasound. I didn't want my daughter to be anything like me. When she turned 1, my mom looked at me and said "she is nothing like you" and I still remember the feeling of relief. She turns 10 soon. She is smarter, more social and much stronger than I was at her age. We talk about everything and anything, in age appropriate ways. I'm so proud of her.
I think I need to spend time writing my inner child another letter today. An apology of sorts. That will be my let go today.
Thank you Audra! ❤️
Thank you Amber. Your poem is magnificent.
This week I am letting go of where I think I should be in life, comparing myself to others, and listening to other people’s ideas about my life.
I’m just going to be present day me as much as I can.
Sending love and strength out to all of you. Xx
Ohhhhh this is a great let go!
This piece of writing is amazing. And your poem. I have tears running down my face that don’t want to stop. Your four year old self, touched my four year old self. In my own life (I’m 73), about 6 months or so ago, I rediscovered the gold signet ring I wore as a young child. It no longer fit my ring finger, of course, but it fit so perfectly on my left pinky, I knew it needed to stay there. So I’ve worn it every day since. It’s become a part of me, and with it I am being reminded? or it often feels like permeated, with my child self. I did not have your experience of being a child actress, but after I had my boys, I became an activist, was at the very beginning of what I called Gaian (Earth-based) Economics, bioregional, and also the efforts to stop clearcutting of old grown in CA and the PNW. I traveled, I keynoted, I wrote and organized and I lost my child self to fit what I believed I needed to fit to play that role. I’m currently writing, in bits and pieces, some of it in my substack, a “memoir”, and I needed, need, to remember who I came in as and bring her back, reintroduce my old woman self to her. Your poem just struck such a cord in my heart. I found a picture of myself, around the same age as you, crawling out from under a fallen branch in the woods, a big smile on my face, a little boy, who I can’t remember, coming out next. When I saw that, I recognized myself. As you did on your metal horse. ❤️
Thank you Susan and thank you for sharing this beautiful let go. 💕
"And you are safe, inside of me, for I was built to hold you,"
This is perfect.
I am letting go of needing to take care of my ex. His future life is none of my business and none of my responsibility. 🤘
Love this Janine. Thanks for sharing.
I love everything about this article, Amber! I now love letting go. Attachments were stifling me in life. I am releasing the need to explain and justify myself and my actions. Those were trauma responses that kept me stuck and not feeling good. Good Riddance indeed!
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Oh OOOF…I need to just react for a moment. You know me, tears definitely ACTIVATED!
I can’t remember the exact year, but once upon a time, I was in Seville with my mom, and we took a carriage ride. I wasn’t a kid, but not yet fully grown into my more activist stance of feeling for the poor steed bound into servitude. HOWEVER…after we returned and climbed down, something moved me to go to that magnificent animal and thank them, just quietly, in their ear, with a soothing pet. Well, to my glee and surprise, the steed craned their neck kind of around me…what learned later was a hug.🤗 And now, reading your dear words, Amber, I realize that hug might just have been a deep acknowledgment of us BOTH being tamed, of us ALL being tamed, each in our own way. Our sparkle diminished. ✨
Beyond your letting go, I do wish you a reunion with your inner Mustang and your feral petals retuned. I wish it for us all.
Much unbridled love, Amber and LITD Fam.💕💕 🐎
😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷
I recently read Jaleel White's memoir, Growing Up Urkel, and it's terrible- he comes off like a real jerk and Family Matters gets canceled halfway through the book, which is all I cared about.
But there's a sense of melancholy throughout the second half of the book of a guy who knows he's going to be Urkel for the rest of his life but doing everything he can to fight against it, even though it's a battle he's not going to win and it comes at a great cost to him.
He probably could've met with Ada because yikes the book is so bad, but it must be such an odd feeling to peak at such a young age and have everyone view you as a fictional character.
Wow thanks for sharing this Sam. I hadn’t heard about this book, I’ll look into it. The melancholy is real.
So this has nothing to do with Jaleel White, but I saw Jane Austin Wrecked My Life and it features Jack Hirschman's Path.
Ooooh I love 💕 these stories of transcendence and good riddance at Beyoncé’s show with Roxane & Debbie- no less! Take us to Church Amber- preaching the Gospel of Salvation.
I found this quote from @manyarajlakshmi Manya’s Journal..
“Anything you lose by speaking your truth isn't a loss.
It's an alignment.”
My truth today is that we’re not defined by those childhood wounds. Letting that shit go.
Don’t know if you saw Mel Robbins talk with Gabor Mate- wow- chills- so good. So Mel’s primary childhood wound was being sexually assaulted at nine years old at a party/ sleepover. Also half of E Jean Carroll’s book What Do We Need Men For? seemed to be about inane ubiquitous sexual assaults everywhere in her and our collective childhoods- so Gabor breaks it down for Mel- that the trauma wasn’t just the physical act of being SA’d, it was the part that at 9 years old Mel couldn’t tell her mother or father what’d happened to her- because she didn’t have safety and trust with her parents and when Mel’s daughters were 9 and if something like that happened to them- would they have been able to tell Mel? Mel had learned very early like all of us did- adults weren’t safe people. They didn’t protect children. But now we’re the adults and we get to do things differently. I’m so glad Marlow has you and David and that you’ve cultivated a world in which she can come to you and you’re healing your childhood wounds by her having a safe family home.
Love you so much Amber. And can’t wait for Ada’s Short & Sweet. A reclamation of June 14th- not a parade for an evil tyrant but a celebration of smart wordy women with tongues as sharp as blades to slash the patriarchy!
LOVE this! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻