Oh, been there! Sending hugs and lots of reassurances that you're doing the right thing. My son is 22 and I still shudder at those memories. He was 8 when he had his palate expander. I remember calling my mom after the very first vaccine appointment I took my son to and telling her how hard it had been. She said, "That's the first in a very long line of things you'll wish they could just do to you, not him." And I think of that so much. Every injury, surgery, heartbreak, I always think, "Let me have it. Why can't I just do this for them." But of course we can't. We just have to prepare them as best we can, and stand beside them when they'll let us. This week I'm back to posting here after a month away. A rough year personally plus the election hit me hard and I took the whole month of November off from Poetical. But I'm rested and letting go of doubts about my poetry and my ability to sustain a weekly post. Time to dive back in and see what happens.
I had a palate expander as a kid and this post brought back all those feelings! I had it at 8 yrs old and I’m 43 now and I can still feel the metal and plastic if I’m reminded…but honestly I’ve never thought about it from my mother’s POV! She was young at the time, and it must have been so stressful for her. But in my memory it was kind of a “we’re in this together” type of thing. I remember vaguely that she hated it so much too and it really gave her the heebie jeebies but I was focused on my own discomfort. Still, I never thought of just how much it had to be hard on her, because at the time of all that pain for me my mom was also my biggest comfort (I had braces for FOUR YEARS after; she was my rock through all the pain and stress). I’m having so much newfound respect for my mom who was so willing to jump in and do the hard things, though she and my dad had a deal that she would handle most ailments and sicknesses and broken bones but if there was blood and/or guts, my dad would have to handle it. I always thought that was funny. And in the end, she dealt with quite a lot of blood and guts from me and my brother. Anyway, I’m not a mom, but big shoutout to all the moms who do the bravest things every day. Even if the bravery is knowing what you cannot do.
Hugs mama. Both my kids had palate expanders for about a year each. But ours had “springs” in them so they expanded on their own with no key turning necessary! I’m grateful for that. Again, hugs.
I had a palate expander as a kid. My key was metal. I feel your daughter's pain. But now, as an adult, I'm glad it was done! I will do it for my kids too if their dentist says they need it.
Your post is full of love for your daughter. That's what I took from it. ❤️
I had a lazy week. I rested. I read my book. I felt unproductive. I took a few naps. I am letting go of any guilt surrounding this. My nervous system is grateful.
It's hard to not feel guilty. It's a truly conscious effort to do nothing and allow yourself to sink into it. I wish it wasn't considered "lazy" in our world!
Sorry to hear it was a challenging week. Sounds like you were able to let go of some important stuff, build and notice your strengths, and find your way. Being a mom is hard stuff. I hope you can take a break and do something nice for yourself. Sending peace and comfort your way.
the frustration also that probably in the next few yrs there'll be a sleeker friendlier device that will do the job. Argggh! When I was growing up babies were put in horrid braces so they would not be bow legged! Hang in....
My son has an expander as well and we are all relieved to be done with the key part!! He has found a water pik / water flosser to be super helpful for flushing food away from the expander after a meal.
Oh wow, I feel so bad for you guys, that sounds painful. I hate the dentist, such a scam.
This week, I'm trying to let go of how bad my anxiety can get. Three times this week I thought I might lose one of my jobs, and each time it ended up being much ado. Turns out, sometimes the head guy does just want to check in on a Friday so it was a lot of wasted energy.
I wish I didn't always go to worst case scenario, but I've experienced the worst case scenario job wise before and last time, I experienced it with no warning, so it's hard to not be so pessimistic.
Also, pro-tip: If you're going to Asia, let your job know before you log into work email and get locked out for a week.
I survived an expander as a kid in the 80s. It was worth it when I could finally stop just eating with my front teeth! I never hated my mom for it, but I did feel like it was mild payback for keeping her awake for the first 2 years of my life. Best to you and your kiddo!
I was hoping orthodontia would have improved since 25 years ago when my mom had to do this to me. I’m sorry for your struggle! But I’m thankful for my mom and my nice smile now ❤️ I’m hoping that when my daughter inevitably needs this, perhaps equipment and materials will have changed for the better. 🤞🏻
Ooooh dearest mama- I’m so so sorry! I had said palate expander, only I turned the key from moment one, no one had to take that on! I can only offer the assurance that it will fade for Marlowe, I don’t remember it that terribly- and it’s been faded for a long time. HERE for you guys.🥰🥰🥰
Since this past November, i've started learning German. Yesterday, i realized that my private German class costs more than i can afford. Therefore, i need to pivot and choose another path (Although i still feel awful about this, yesterday i felt that awfulness much more deeply). Good news: Today, i talked to another institute and i'm going to register for one of their online German classes tomorrow.
First time in this space. Terrible device. We did this 35 years ago with my daughter. She couldn’t eat and lost 10 pounds. A lot for a 10 year old. It’s interesting so many of life’s past experiences are coming back to light. I guess I am letting them go. We just moved from our home of 40 years. There’s a lot of letting go. Thank you for sharing. Teri
My son's palate expander completely changed the shape of his face and head. His ortho said it needed to widen dramatically so that as he aged, his mouth and head would align properly. I puked and or sobbed the first week and neither of us slept. Eventually, I decided that expanding it in the morning would give us both busyness at the start of the day for a distraction. It helped. I also had him receive weekly Chiropractic and CranioSacral Therapy. Projected 18 months turned out to be 9 months. My biggest hurt was the change to my son's face. He was born looking one way and in 9 months his face was completely altered. I grieved for a good long while over the loss of his cherub cheeks. As for letting go...I'm letting go of needing things to be the way I imagine perfection and accepting that change is an ongoing state of never-perfect.
Oh, been there! Sending hugs and lots of reassurances that you're doing the right thing. My son is 22 and I still shudder at those memories. He was 8 when he had his palate expander. I remember calling my mom after the very first vaccine appointment I took my son to and telling her how hard it had been. She said, "That's the first in a very long line of things you'll wish they could just do to you, not him." And I think of that so much. Every injury, surgery, heartbreak, I always think, "Let me have it. Why can't I just do this for them." But of course we can't. We just have to prepare them as best we can, and stand beside them when they'll let us. This week I'm back to posting here after a month away. A rough year personally plus the election hit me hard and I took the whole month of November off from Poetical. But I'm rested and letting go of doubts about my poetry and my ability to sustain a weekly post. Time to dive back in and see what happens.
I had a palate expander as a kid and this post brought back all those feelings! I had it at 8 yrs old and I’m 43 now and I can still feel the metal and plastic if I’m reminded…but honestly I’ve never thought about it from my mother’s POV! She was young at the time, and it must have been so stressful for her. But in my memory it was kind of a “we’re in this together” type of thing. I remember vaguely that she hated it so much too and it really gave her the heebie jeebies but I was focused on my own discomfort. Still, I never thought of just how much it had to be hard on her, because at the time of all that pain for me my mom was also my biggest comfort (I had braces for FOUR YEARS after; she was my rock through all the pain and stress). I’m having so much newfound respect for my mom who was so willing to jump in and do the hard things, though she and my dad had a deal that she would handle most ailments and sicknesses and broken bones but if there was blood and/or guts, my dad would have to handle it. I always thought that was funny. And in the end, she dealt with quite a lot of blood and guts from me and my brother. Anyway, I’m not a mom, but big shoutout to all the moms who do the bravest things every day. Even if the bravery is knowing what you cannot do.
Please give your mom and extra big giant hug from me next time you see her 🥹🥹🙏🏻🙏🏻
Oh I will!
Hugs mama. Both my kids had palate expanders for about a year each. But ours had “springs” in them so they expanded on their own with no key turning necessary! I’m grateful for that. Again, hugs.
I had a palate expander as a kid. My key was metal. I feel your daughter's pain. But now, as an adult, I'm glad it was done! I will do it for my kids too if their dentist says they need it.
Your post is full of love for your daughter. That's what I took from it. ❤️
I had a lazy week. I rested. I read my book. I felt unproductive. I took a few naps. I am letting go of any guilt surrounding this. My nervous system is grateful.
I'm only just learning that I should actually listen to my body and mind when they demand rest. Good for you for doing right by yourself.
It's hard to not feel guilty. It's a truly conscious effort to do nothing and allow yourself to sink into it. I wish it wasn't considered "lazy" in our world!
Sorry to hear it was a challenging week. Sounds like you were able to let go of some important stuff, build and notice your strengths, and find your way. Being a mom is hard stuff. I hope you can take a break and do something nice for yourself. Sending peace and comfort your way.
the frustration also that probably in the next few yrs there'll be a sleeker friendlier device that will do the job. Argggh! When I was growing up babies were put in horrid braces so they would not be bow legged! Hang in....
My son has an expander as well and we are all relieved to be done with the key part!! He has found a water pik / water flosser to be super helpful for flushing food away from the expander after a meal.
Thank you for this Melissa! Going to try one tonight 🙏🏻
Oh wow, I feel so bad for you guys, that sounds painful. I hate the dentist, such a scam.
This week, I'm trying to let go of how bad my anxiety can get. Three times this week I thought I might lose one of my jobs, and each time it ended up being much ado. Turns out, sometimes the head guy does just want to check in on a Friday so it was a lot of wasted energy.
I wish I didn't always go to worst case scenario, but I've experienced the worst case scenario job wise before and last time, I experienced it with no warning, so it's hard to not be so pessimistic.
Also, pro-tip: If you're going to Asia, let your job know before you log into work email and get locked out for a week.
Ugh that is so stressful sam I’m sorry!!
This is one of those weeks where being supportive means not adding to the conversation. :)
I survived an expander as a kid in the 80s. It was worth it when I could finally stop just eating with my front teeth! I never hated my mom for it, but I did feel like it was mild payback for keeping her awake for the first 2 years of my life. Best to you and your kiddo!
I was hoping orthodontia would have improved since 25 years ago when my mom had to do this to me. I’m sorry for your struggle! But I’m thankful for my mom and my nice smile now ❤️ I’m hoping that when my daughter inevitably needs this, perhaps equipment and materials will have changed for the better. 🤞🏻
Ooooh dearest mama- I’m so so sorry! I had said palate expander, only I turned the key from moment one, no one had to take that on! I can only offer the assurance that it will fade for Marlowe, I don’t remember it that terribly- and it’s been faded for a long time. HERE for you guys.🥰🥰🥰
This week, i'm letting go of my fear of pivoting.
Since this past November, i've started learning German. Yesterday, i realized that my private German class costs more than i can afford. Therefore, i need to pivot and choose another path (Although i still feel awful about this, yesterday i felt that awfulness much more deeply). Good news: Today, i talked to another institute and i'm going to register for one of their online German classes tomorrow.
First time in this space. Terrible device. We did this 35 years ago with my daughter. She couldn’t eat and lost 10 pounds. A lot for a 10 year old. It’s interesting so many of life’s past experiences are coming back to light. I guess I am letting them go. We just moved from our home of 40 years. There’s a lot of letting go. Thank you for sharing. Teri
My son's palate expander completely changed the shape of his face and head. His ortho said it needed to widen dramatically so that as he aged, his mouth and head would align properly. I puked and or sobbed the first week and neither of us slept. Eventually, I decided that expanding it in the morning would give us both busyness at the start of the day for a distraction. It helped. I also had him receive weekly Chiropractic and CranioSacral Therapy. Projected 18 months turned out to be 9 months. My biggest hurt was the change to my son's face. He was born looking one way and in 9 months his face was completely altered. I grieved for a good long while over the loss of his cherub cheeks. As for letting go...I'm letting go of needing things to be the way I imagine perfection and accepting that change is an ongoing state of never-perfect.