What a poignant memory, tears of sorrow and healing, letting go and LOVE... you loved each other well... So cool, so healing that you found that last poem especially for you! Amber, the LOVE you carry in your heart for Jack is a testimony to the abundant LOVE he generously gifted you. ❤️
May 2, 2023·edited May 2, 2023Liked by Amber Tamblyn
Thank god we have yet to close on each other, though my sister and I have closed doors and leveraged chairs against them as locks. When she moved across the country, I was 16. I dreamt of her death. I'd never dreamt of death before. It was unexpected. And now she's the only one I want to share things with; the one I am most comfortable being unlocked in front of. Sometimes, I find old birthday cards from her and I know how much I am her sister too. A miracle.
love this so much. What a beautiful thing to discover while grieving! ❤
So, I have lost both my grandmothers. We lost Nana at the beginning of 2021. I didn't get to say goodbye due to Covid and visitor restrictions. The night she left us, for the first time since moving into our house, an owl began hooting in the woods right outside our bedroom windows. It was there until I fell asleep.
We hear an owl every once in a while now. And I always think of her.
One morning in 1984 my lover woke me up with the words- get dressed, you have to go. He accompanied me through the quiet morning to the School of Applied Art in Vienna. We arrived at the main entrance. Behind the closed doors one of our best friends greeted me with a brimming smile. He has been holding a place all night for me for the admission to this prestigious Art School. I was completely taken by surprise. My friends had actually submitted my application without my knowing.
The rest was up to me. When the doors opened I went into a place I haven't seen before. Somebody handed me my portfolio. In a trancelike state I met with teachers I have never heard of, and finally got accepted for the practical part of the exam a week later, which I also passed.
Those people were all lost when my partner began to drift off into his mental illness. My own personal attention to his needs did not suffice to rescue him, neither could medicine, which was still unable to provide adequate pharmacological support. A year or so later he was hospitalized and I was told to leave him and take care of myself and my own life. Then he died.
He has left me with the knowledge that I had a talent. It took me more than 20 years before I was able to paint again, still struggling with the guilt and the fear ans the sadness with every dot I put on a canvas. Working with clay is my secure way of creating.
What a poignant memory, tears of sorrow and healing, letting go and LOVE... you loved each other well... So cool, so healing that you found that last poem especially for you! Amber, the LOVE you carry in your heart for Jack is a testimony to the abundant LOVE he generously gifted you. ❤️
Thank god we have yet to close on each other, though my sister and I have closed doors and leveraged chairs against them as locks. When she moved across the country, I was 16. I dreamt of her death. I'd never dreamt of death before. It was unexpected. And now she's the only one I want to share things with; the one I am most comfortable being unlocked in front of. Sometimes, I find old birthday cards from her and I know how much I am her sister too. A miracle.
❤️
love this so much. What a beautiful thing to discover while grieving! ❤
So, I have lost both my grandmothers. We lost Nana at the beginning of 2021. I didn't get to say goodbye due to Covid and visitor restrictions. The night she left us, for the first time since moving into our house, an owl began hooting in the woods right outside our bedroom windows. It was there until I fell asleep.
We hear an owl every once in a while now. And I always think of her.
May his memory always be for a blessing to you and everyone who knew him. He sounds like he was a very special person.
One morning in 1984 my lover woke me up with the words- get dressed, you have to go. He accompanied me through the quiet morning to the School of Applied Art in Vienna. We arrived at the main entrance. Behind the closed doors one of our best friends greeted me with a brimming smile. He has been holding a place all night for me for the admission to this prestigious Art School. I was completely taken by surprise. My friends had actually submitted my application without my knowing.
The rest was up to me. When the doors opened I went into a place I haven't seen before. Somebody handed me my portfolio. In a trancelike state I met with teachers I have never heard of, and finally got accepted for the practical part of the exam a week later, which I also passed.
Those people were all lost when my partner began to drift off into his mental illness. My own personal attention to his needs did not suffice to rescue him, neither could medicine, which was still unable to provide adequate pharmacological support. A year or so later he was hospitalized and I was told to leave him and take care of myself and my own life. Then he died.
He has left me with the knowledge that I had a talent. It took me more than 20 years before I was able to paint again, still struggling with the guilt and the fear ans the sadness with every dot I put on a canvas. Working with clay is my secure way of creating.
The talent does not leave you
Beautiful remembrance of an incredible poetic voice. Thank you for sharing.
so beautiful and incredibly moving. i’m sorry for his loss, and also so admiring of such a beautiful mentorship friendship. 💜
What a lovely gift, albeit bittersweet too. I'm sorry for your loss.