A milestone on Mother’s Day.
When I turned 40, I realized that aging is a gift. There are so many people that don't get the privilege of aging, of seeing their children or grandchildren grow, that don't get the chance to really settle into themselves.
“All of this is, of course, a byproduct of capitalism and the notion that downtime, introspection, and quiet periods in our lives are not moments to reflect or refuel but instead are negatives. We are told these quiet periods should be filled with anguish; they are “writer’s block” instead of creative hibernation before a fruitful spring. “
There is wisdom and deep truth in your observation. When we do slow down, we have time and space for that still small voice within us to remind us of our greatness. Our greatness lives inside of us, and it does not require the validation of Hollywood nor anyone else.
Those voices who shun the downtime, do not want us to find that inner strength that’s lying dormant within us because once we tappet, we no longer need them.
Forty is seventeen years in my past, and I can tell you that those years have been liberating for me. Taking the time to listen to the still small voice has taught me who I truly am and that it’s safe to be as weird and wonderful as I wish.
Happy birthday and welcome to decades filled with freedom to follow your dreams, and love yourself enough to be who you truly are. 💞
I will be 43 in august and I love my 40s. It feels like a time of wisdom and loving my life.
At 40, I started seeing an Endocrinologist. It was my journey to trying to start a family. Maybe it started earlier but this was a major step. It took 3 years, 3 miscarriages and an anonymous egg donor but my daughter Frances is 4.5 years old and I am 48. The reality of this journey has been butt kicking but I would not change it. The last few years I have been suffering with perimenopause in a mid career male dominated field and my identity has taken a major hit.
My own mother became addicted to pain killers in my 30s. She struggled with addiction after taking OxyContin when recovering from a double mastectomy. She is an RN and the medical world completely failed her. This entire understanding of how to take care of oneself is fascinating. It is interesting how our western medical approach impacts us. Self care is an ever evolving almost day by day adventure. It is deeply personal. What I realize now about self care is that it is hard:) My fountain of youth was another women egg. I thank her so much because I would not be celebrating today without her. Thank you ❤️. I wish you a happy birthday and a one day at a time approach to your life’s journey.
Happy Birthday! Like Lacey said, I also found that my 40s were the time when I realized that getting older is a privilege (not the curse that women are so often made to believe it is.) I can’t wait to read about your adventures. I drove a motorcycle across the country in 1995 and I’ll never forget those sights and smells and everything about it. Enjoy!
Happy Birthday and Happy Mother’s Day!
40 is long in my rear view mirror, but having gone through a divorce since then, here’s my advice (for whatever THAT is worth): Treasure the small moments, and more importantly, understand that they are the building blocks of bigger--and better--things. This is a lesson that was learned by me at some great cost.
I’m 38, and so much of what you write heavily resonates with me. I hope as I approach 40 to remember that I overestimate what I can do in the short term, and underestimate what I can do in the long term, and so to ease my way through it all more x
Happy Birthday! I turn 40 next month and appreciate your point-of-view here. I too feel as if I am entering a time where I am ready to give myself space and grace, and be patient with what is unfurling around me.
Something that I’ve been holding on to is this line from the poem Allow by Danna Faulds - “Allow, and grace will carry you to higher ground.”
I am enjoying 40 so far, I give less of a fuck about the small shit and treasure all of the everyday moments of motherhood (good + bad) a lot more. I hear at 50 you really DGAF! Can’t wait! Ha
Happy Birthday and Mother’s Day, Amber ❤️ wishing you a beautiful year.
Happy birthday and welcome to the forties. So much yet to come!
Happy Birthday Amber, your reflections says it’s all... we learn so much in our youth; and our 30s really set a stage to grow into our 40s. Recognizing the hardships and challenges living in this capitalist society (as you state) and having the heart of an adventurous soul as you embark on your motorcycle journey (I too have had many motorcycle cross county adventures) will serve you well in this next decade of life. Best wishes and thank you for sharing your journey with so many!! 🙏🏼
I turn 39 next month and am a different person than I was when I turned 30. I hit a turning point 2 years ago. I have done a lot of work on myself since then and am learning to embrace the fact that the only things I can control are how I respond and what I allow. As a recovering people pleaser, I have been opting more often to choose things that allow me to grow, that I enjoy and that are good for me and my family. Life is just too short to allow much else.
Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day!! 💐
Happy Birthday. Milestones can be hard because they can feel more momentous than they are. And yet... they can also be a great kick in the pants to figure some shit out, try something new, or make a change. Regardless, a two-week motorcycle trip with a friend sounds like a fabulous idea, whatever 40 means - or doesn't mean - to you. I've found the momentous years are frequently not the ones that end in zeros. At almost 53 I'm perched on the edge of a soon-to-be-empty nest which is exciting and very sad all at the same time. Watching my mom's decent into dementia and preparing to drop my youngest off at college in a few months is proof for me that the moments that test us and temper us and (hopefully) make our priorities more clear often have little to do with a particular age, but rather are prompted by the intersections we experience with others along the way. Another good reason to hit the road - Imagine all the paths you'll cross! Safe travels.
A great lie we are told is that aging is awful. We should do everything we can to stop time. Lotions. Creams. Diets. Whatever. I don’t mean care, of course we should take care of our aging bodies, but I mean time. We can’t stop
It. This is a beautiful thing. I am looking forward to my 40s, whether they be quiet or creatively fruitful. Fruit can grow in the quiet.
Big day, Amber! I hope it’s a great one.