This is a powerful read Amber, and I feel your passion for justice and your exhaustion at moving 2 steps forward and 1,000 back. It's enraging, and it's inhumane. For me, the most infuriating battle plan of this war on women is the acceptance of rape culture, where women and girls are taught to behave in a way that does not "encourage" violence against them (us). It's not only victim blaming, it infantilizes men by perpetuating the fallacy that men and boys cannot control their sexual urges.
If they are so ape-like, why do they get the codes to our nuclear warheads? Why are they allowed to become doctors, lawyers, mechanics or plumbers? It's offensive. Maybe there needs to be a national program that all tween and teen boys have to go through to show they are ready to enter a civil society? That's the message we are promoting when we accept that men are inherently violent towards women; so, ladies it's your own fault if you haven't gone through the national training on how to dress, where to walk, how to speak, how to never say no to a man, because if you do what did you think would happen? Wasn't it obvious you would get punched in the face? - true story in NYC.
I seek to regain some of my time reading, writing and being mindful of inclusivity given the agency I have as a cis white woman in America. This is where I have a gentle ask of you, Amber; would you please reconsider this sentence, "Problems that impact only those of us with uteruses are often pushed to the side entirely which stems from a lack of research (and interest) in our health and happiness." I don't think you meant to exclude trans women and women who've had hysterectomies, but by making uteruses the organ which defines being a woman it feels unnecessarily exclusionary. Thank you.
Amy thank you so much for bringing this to my attention— such a great point and I appreciate it and you. I’m going to edit the line now for clarity and inclusivity. 🙏🏻🩷
I was incredibly disheartened when the news of the overturning of Weinstein's conviction was announced, so I can't imagine what went through the minds of everyone that he abused.
And this Weinstein Shit - is just that - it's shit! 💩 This POOP emoji is too cute!
But like all the others, so many others, the list is endless - our only salvation, besides speaking up & Fighting is ~ not one of them is free in their soul and may never be! This may sound like spiritual jargon compared to the reality of this SHIT - But this energy is REAL, very real. They will never know REAL LIFE! REAL LIVING! ALIVENESS! They would have to repent on their knees on sharp glass and beg forgiveness for the next million years....and then just maybe...
I am 65 yo women who JUST realized last week that the reason I am claustrophobic is because of my rape at 14 (lost my virginity). Being in metal van with three men who'd removed the inside door handles. My rage is beyond considering the waste of time. I cannot be in a vehicle with anyone who shows the least bit of anger or aggression (i.e. even minor road rage). I cannot have a heated argument or discussion in a vehicle, heck I can't even sleep in a tiny camper! I completely shut down. How is it that it took 51 years for me to connect those dots? I've gone over this event again and again in therapy, talked about it at V Day events, relived it, screamed at my attacker and yet, those deep deep memories remain. I thought I had reclaimed that time, worked through that anger, the blaming, the shame but ah looky here! It is STILL taking my time! E V E R Y story of a sister having their trauma reduced because it is "just too much for them to hear about" makes me want to get a GD megaphone.
I am so sorry that happened to you, Kelley; reading your words made my stomach clench and my heart hurt. I want to tell you that you are not alone and I will bring a megaphone and stand beside you. Sending you peace and gratitude.
This is such important stuff to talk about. When you think of all that has been lost in terms of art, science, medicine, etc because women are still fighting for the rights that would let them participate fully in the world, it feels utterly demoralizing. I posted yesterday about my ambivalence toward Mother's Day because it feels pandering to pretend we love and celebrate mothers while we chip away at their reproductive rights, deny them adequate parental leave, and refuse to subsidize high quality childcare. As the intensity of politicization and polarization ramps up ahead of the elections, I am finding myself needing to step back from the news. The recent reporting about Weinstein was a gut punch. I've always felt duty-bound to read as much as possible and stay current, but I just can't manage it at the same level these days. I feel like I'm losing my discernment, my ability to be thoughtful and analytical. I'm just reacting and it's unhealthy. I'm looking for news sources I can trust to be thoughtful, to not oversimplify and sensationalize. I'll share one of my favorites here. Heather Cox Richardson writes Letters from an American (https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=substack_profile). She offers a run down of the important news with a historical perspective. Each of her daily letters leaves me feeling informed, not manipulated. I'd love to hear from others about places to get our news that respect our time and intelligence. As always, thank you, Amber, for talking about the hard stuff in a way that acknowledges the emotional toll but still offers hope and strategies for engagement. ❤️
Please - you write something soooo important here. And then the highlights are in yellow and I (and I am sure many others with old eyes or vision problems) cannot read them. Please choose something with more contrast next time. Love your work.
That "wow" is the only response to these types of bombs. The new bombs that we have been using on each other, that only target the "type of people" you are trying to target, that only hit the "type of people" you are trying to hit, that don't allow most people outside of those "types of people" to see the damage don't and most importantly don't cause any infrastructure damage.
Information bombs are still bombs. They still damage, they still kill and the people dropping them know this.
The RECLAIMING of our TIME is everywhere around us. Like Jessica Di Fino's Substack "Unpublishable" https://substack.com/@jessicadefino The incessant marketing blast about our appearance! How many thoughts, sighs and worries about it! Money spent! Also, another brilliant Substacker is Dr. Sharon Blackie writes in "IF WOMEN WERE ROOTED" https://substack.com/@sharonblackie ~ Begins with the FEAR instilled in us as girls. When our first encounter with a sexual predator and how it scars our psyches!
WHAT CAN WE DO? What can we do more of? Count me in!
I can see I am a bit older than others here - I have been through many life lessons - that didn't kill me. I am here to HELP in anyway I can.
Thank you Amber for this TRUTH that burns right through to the SUN!
This is a powerful article but it’s the title - I can’t stop thinking about this title. It’s so true and enraging and I’m still processing what it means to me. Thank you for your work.
I'm disabled. I've had things stolen from me as well. Time. We all lose time, Amber. It took me six years to get a place to live where I felt comfortable. 72-and-a-half months. Abuse and shit happen to men as well. I was used, badly. All for a house in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin, 700 miles from home.
Don't worry, Amber, Harvey and Orange Cheater will get theirs. Soon.
Get more young women headed into top law schools to become judges! Though that’s no guarantee of wisdom or justice (i e Eileen Cannon) at least women’s voices will be heard from the bench.
Thanks for this Amber. I especially resonate with this part -
“The real peace for us might just be in making peace with knowing this is part of our life’s work, just as it was for all the women who came before us, and just as it will be for all those who will come after us. After all, this fight is nothing new; marginalized communities have been in a ceaseless battle for their health and safety..”
Reminds me of a piece I recently wrote on the value of facing collapse as a narrative/view to make sense of the times we live in. What doing so offers. One of the threads is learning from peoples and cultures that have gone through collapse before. How it shifts my view of things temporally and spiritually. Sharing it here if you or anyone is curious to read https://open.substack.com/pub/wehealforall/p/facing-collapse-head-onclimate-change?r=3zh3l&utm_medium=ios
Sending big love for everyone’s restoration reclamation and more!
This is a powerful read Amber, and I feel your passion for justice and your exhaustion at moving 2 steps forward and 1,000 back. It's enraging, and it's inhumane. For me, the most infuriating battle plan of this war on women is the acceptance of rape culture, where women and girls are taught to behave in a way that does not "encourage" violence against them (us). It's not only victim blaming, it infantilizes men by perpetuating the fallacy that men and boys cannot control their sexual urges.
If they are so ape-like, why do they get the codes to our nuclear warheads? Why are they allowed to become doctors, lawyers, mechanics or plumbers? It's offensive. Maybe there needs to be a national program that all tween and teen boys have to go through to show they are ready to enter a civil society? That's the message we are promoting when we accept that men are inherently violent towards women; so, ladies it's your own fault if you haven't gone through the national training on how to dress, where to walk, how to speak, how to never say no to a man, because if you do what did you think would happen? Wasn't it obvious you would get punched in the face? - true story in NYC.
I seek to regain some of my time reading, writing and being mindful of inclusivity given the agency I have as a cis white woman in America. This is where I have a gentle ask of you, Amber; would you please reconsider this sentence, "Problems that impact only those of us with uteruses are often pushed to the side entirely which stems from a lack of research (and interest) in our health and happiness." I don't think you meant to exclude trans women and women who've had hysterectomies, but by making uteruses the organ which defines being a woman it feels unnecessarily exclusionary. Thank you.
Amy thank you so much for bringing this to my attention— such a great point and I appreciate it and you. I’m going to edit the line now for clarity and inclusivity. 🙏🏻🩷
Thank you Amber. I appreciate your work as an advocate, your generosity of spirit, and your talent as a writer, actress and poet. 🥰🙏
This is SO well done. Thank you for writing this. Incredibly pertinent for this time.
I was incredibly disheartened when the news of the overturning of Weinstein's conviction was announced, so I can't imagine what went through the minds of everyone that he abused.
And this Weinstein Shit - is just that - it's shit! 💩 This POOP emoji is too cute!
But like all the others, so many others, the list is endless - our only salvation, besides speaking up & Fighting is ~ not one of them is free in their soul and may never be! This may sound like spiritual jargon compared to the reality of this SHIT - But this energy is REAL, very real. They will never know REAL LIFE! REAL LIVING! ALIVENESS! They would have to repent on their knees on sharp glass and beg forgiveness for the next million years....and then just maybe...
Thank you for articulating this sometimes invisible topic.
You are reading my mind. ❤️
I am 65 yo women who JUST realized last week that the reason I am claustrophobic is because of my rape at 14 (lost my virginity). Being in metal van with three men who'd removed the inside door handles. My rage is beyond considering the waste of time. I cannot be in a vehicle with anyone who shows the least bit of anger or aggression (i.e. even minor road rage). I cannot have a heated argument or discussion in a vehicle, heck I can't even sleep in a tiny camper! I completely shut down. How is it that it took 51 years for me to connect those dots? I've gone over this event again and again in therapy, talked about it at V Day events, relived it, screamed at my attacker and yet, those deep deep memories remain. I thought I had reclaimed that time, worked through that anger, the blaming, the shame but ah looky here! It is STILL taking my time! E V E R Y story of a sister having their trauma reduced because it is "just too much for them to hear about" makes me want to get a GD megaphone.
I am so sorry that happened to you, Kelley; reading your words made my stomach clench and my heart hurt. I want to tell you that you are not alone and I will bring a megaphone and stand beside you. Sending you peace and gratitude.
This is such important stuff to talk about. When you think of all that has been lost in terms of art, science, medicine, etc because women are still fighting for the rights that would let them participate fully in the world, it feels utterly demoralizing. I posted yesterday about my ambivalence toward Mother's Day because it feels pandering to pretend we love and celebrate mothers while we chip away at their reproductive rights, deny them adequate parental leave, and refuse to subsidize high quality childcare. As the intensity of politicization and polarization ramps up ahead of the elections, I am finding myself needing to step back from the news. The recent reporting about Weinstein was a gut punch. I've always felt duty-bound to read as much as possible and stay current, but I just can't manage it at the same level these days. I feel like I'm losing my discernment, my ability to be thoughtful and analytical. I'm just reacting and it's unhealthy. I'm looking for news sources I can trust to be thoughtful, to not oversimplify and sensationalize. I'll share one of my favorites here. Heather Cox Richardson writes Letters from an American (https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=substack_profile). She offers a run down of the important news with a historical perspective. Each of her daily letters leaves me feeling informed, not manipulated. I'd love to hear from others about places to get our news that respect our time and intelligence. As always, thank you, Amber, for talking about the hard stuff in a way that acknowledges the emotional toll but still offers hope and strategies for engagement. ❤️
Please - you write something soooo important here. And then the highlights are in yellow and I (and I am sure many others with old eyes or vision problems) cannot read them. Please choose something with more contrast next time. Love your work.
Thanks for the feedback Johanna, will look into this! 🩷
That "wow" is the only response to these types of bombs. The new bombs that we have been using on each other, that only target the "type of people" you are trying to target, that only hit the "type of people" you are trying to hit, that don't allow most people outside of those "types of people" to see the damage don't and most importantly don't cause any infrastructure damage.
Information bombs are still bombs. They still damage, they still kill and the people dropping them know this.
The RECLAIMING of our TIME is everywhere around us. Like Jessica Di Fino's Substack "Unpublishable" https://substack.com/@jessicadefino The incessant marketing blast about our appearance! How many thoughts, sighs and worries about it! Money spent! Also, another brilliant Substacker is Dr. Sharon Blackie writes in "IF WOMEN WERE ROOTED" https://substack.com/@sharonblackie ~ Begins with the FEAR instilled in us as girls. When our first encounter with a sexual predator and how it scars our psyches!
WHAT CAN WE DO? What can we do more of? Count me in!
I can see I am a bit older than others here - I have been through many life lessons - that didn't kill me. I am here to HELP in anyway I can.
Thank you Amber for this TRUTH that burns right through to the SUN!
Love LA from Flying Bra
This is a powerful article but it’s the title - I can’t stop thinking about this title. It’s so true and enraging and I’m still processing what it means to me. Thank you for your work.
I'm disabled. I've had things stolen from me as well. Time. We all lose time, Amber. It took me six years to get a place to live where I felt comfortable. 72-and-a-half months. Abuse and shit happen to men as well. I was used, badly. All for a house in the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin, 700 miles from home.
Don't worry, Amber, Harvey and Orange Cheater will get theirs. Soon.
I hear you, Kent. I mentioned this toward the end of the piece about how all marginalized people’s time are stolen in different ways. Sending love. 🩷
Thanks for the comment. I fucking can't stand these shithead judges. Stay well, Amber. I'd really like it if you subscribed to my blog as well ;)
Get more young women headed into top law schools to become judges! Though that’s no guarantee of wisdom or justice (i e Eileen Cannon) at least women’s voices will be heard from the bench.
Such a powerful piece. Very well written. Thank you 💖💖
Holy hell. I found tears running down my cheeks as I read your words. Thank you.
Thanks for this Amber. I especially resonate with this part -
“The real peace for us might just be in making peace with knowing this is part of our life’s work, just as it was for all the women who came before us, and just as it will be for all those who will come after us. After all, this fight is nothing new; marginalized communities have been in a ceaseless battle for their health and safety..”
Reminds me of a piece I recently wrote on the value of facing collapse as a narrative/view to make sense of the times we live in. What doing so offers. One of the threads is learning from peoples and cultures that have gone through collapse before. How it shifts my view of things temporally and spiritually. Sharing it here if you or anyone is curious to read https://open.substack.com/pub/wehealforall/p/facing-collapse-head-onclimate-change?r=3zh3l&utm_medium=ios
Sending big love for everyone’s restoration reclamation and more!